Discussion
NOTE: The work presented on this page was produced as part of a learning exercise. While the content was reviewed and controls were in place to improve accuracy and quality, it may contain gross inaccuracy or poor quality. The emphasis was on the learning process and the sharing of information. Furthermore, this content may still be under revision. For more information about the process, see About UniCommons.com. For more accurate subject content related to this work, see Subjects.
Comments
Great start to the paper. You have chosen some good research studies for the review. I'm confident you're on the right track with the intent of the paper. There are two areas to focus on as you proceed. One is the organization of the content. Generally a Method, Results, Discussion subheading is reserved for research reports, not reviews. I recommend using different sub-headings, although you could address these components of the research separately if you want. You are doing well to compare and contrast the research in your discussion, so continue to ensure that the flow maintains a holistic look of the research as your organize your paper.
The second important point is to somehow focus your topic on the sport psychology aspect of the music research with exercise. I'm concerned there may be too many studies on this topic and that too many are specific to physiological effects. While this still relates to the psychology, in the end you would be reviewing the physiological nature rather than focusing on the psychology. Your reference list is already getting long, so if you can focus the research based on what you have and key in on some sport psychology journals you may be able to isolate a variation of your topic that works better.
Any time you refer to "research" make sure there is a citation nearby. Also, when you refer to "researchers" it is better to just include their names and the year (a citation) so that you are specific about who you are talking about. Many of the years you are providing do not have an author listed with them. Take a look at the citation format in general and make sure this is more correct in future drafts.
Excellent draft. Your paper is nearly ready to go. This paper as it is would get a very high score. The improvements I recommend are to add more depth to your conclusions for the different subheadings. Do more comparison and contrast as you discuss conclusions. You have the minimum, but adding a few more papers you may have would make the review more complete on the subject. The other points below are more minor, but still important for a polished paper.
Your abstract should have some of your critique reflected in it.
Do you have a reference to support this statement: "Music has been known to influence mood?"
Good attention to the APA format. There are some issues with the citations though. "Et al." should just be used after you have mentioned all the authors in the first citation. On the 2nd and subsequent mentions you use "et al." I noticed this with the Macone citation, but you should check all of them. Also, the studies with 2 authors should always have both authors listed in citations. The latest APA guidelines aren't calling for mention of databases in the reference list (e.g. "Retrieved from MEDLINE database."). Italics need to be added to the reference list.
Due May 30th
This is a cool paper, I had always heard people's opinions about listening to music and running but never had seen any evidence before. That is interesting that for trained runners music can be counterproductive though.
What a great idea for a paper.
In my own opnion and I do a lot of running on treadmills, music does not really help me from ressenting the process. I hate the treadmill. If I am doing an MP3 workout I tend to be able to concentrate more on what to do. I have to run outside or I become batty. I think what it comes down to is the fact my energy is taken with all those feelings of regret or the fact that I HATE it.