You have all of the elements and concepts of a good paper, but more depth and cohesiveness is needed in the dialog about the research. Plus, you have a few more studies to review. By cohesiveness, I am referring to making a more intimate connection between the studies in your discussion. Basically, include more comparison and contrast of multiple studies; also, draw conclusions based on these. Introducing more of your own critique of the studies will also help.

I'm concerned that the topic is still too broad and there are several studies that you are not reviewing here. At this point, you would want to somehow narrow the topic based on what you have, and then exhaust the databases for any final sources as you prepare the final draft.

An abstract is needed.

Include more citations to support the assertions in the opening paragraphs.

Format: The paper needs format improvement. The APA referencing format looks fairly good, although there are some minor mistakes on some of the in-text citations and on the reference list.

An abstract is the summary listed at the beginning, in the same style of the abstracts you read with your papers. You can look up more information on your own about an abstract, because it is a common element that research papers have.